A few weeks back I invited fellow Mam’s, Mam to be, Gran’s, Aunt’s, Non Mammies by choice, Hope to be Mammies in the future and not forgetting the Dad’s,to get in touch and have your say on what you find challenging/rewarding. What you aspire to. What you think you ‘should’ have accomplished each day not only a Mother but as a wife, as a Woman and so forth.
Thank you so much to those of you who reached out and got in touch. I found your emails so insightful from the many dynamics that are out there in this world.
I didn’t receive any emails from anyone without children or aspiring to have a family or any Dad’s. I would like to extend the invitation again to those people should you be reading this blog post to please do get in touch. I would like to hear what you feel the expectations could be to have children and work/not work or to choose to remain child free and focus on your career. What challenges or rewards do you face each day?
What was most predominant from the emails I did get is that, in one way or another was the feeling that as Women we are not achieving enough. We are not doing what we think we ‘should be getting done each day. Another major flag was financial security. Nobody felt they could afford to work/not work fulltime/partime/homemaker. Our finances was a major factor as to why we could not see ourselves in any of the positions we desired to be in.
Those who are working away from the home, felt the pressures of racing to work each day, felt they were failing in the home environment, struggle financially and aspire to be at home with their children.
Those who are solely at home with their children felt they have lost their identity, struggle financially and aspire to one day become ‘something’ once they have raised their children. Be it getting a job or opening their own business.
Those who are working from home and raising a family, struggle financially and desired to somehow find a balance between work life and family life. They aspire to be high achieving business owners and Mothers at the same time.
We seem to place most of our focus on ourselves as women to be on top of the game of life 24/7. Or to at the very least look that way to the outside world. We all equally agree we struggle financially. Why do we continue to pursue careers that are not fulfilling our salary expectations. Why do we feel that a job status is our identity? Why do stay at home Mam’s feel they are not enough to society? Why do working Mam’s feel they are failing in the home? I asked the same question to everyone that took part.
What do you think would make life easier for you and your family?
- Stop worrying what others think of what kind of Mother I am.
- More money to buy nicer things for self and children
- Lose weight to feel better about self
- More hours in the day
- 3 day weekend
- Have children minded one to one instead of creche
- Have guilt free time to self
- Feel happy in own skin
- Do what makes me happy for a living
As I read the answers that came back, I keep thinking to myself, there in front of us, coming from our own mouths are our real aspirations and desires. The ones that play in our heads, that we feel hold us back from being the person or living the life we want.
Stop wishing to be something. Start being it!
The power of affirmations is something I truly believe in. If you want something in life, you have the power to make it happen. If you want to earn more money, or lose weight, stop worrying about others opinions, feel confident or happy then only you can make that happen.
However big or small, whatever it is that you think about and struggle with each day. It is important to you. You need to consciously sit down and write out what you want from life. What you truly want for yourself and your family. What you feel will make you happier everyday.
You will never speak to anyone as much as you speak to yourself in your own head. Be kind to yourself!
Remind yourself every morning you wake up of what it is you want for your life. We only get one life. We should do everything in our power to make sure we are living the very best one we can. That we are giving our 100% best to ourselves and our families everyday.
You have the control. You have the power. You just need to decide when you are going to start.
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